Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
