I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize