..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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