Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
