I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I see more hoeing in ur future
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
