Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
