I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
