Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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