there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
