Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
