Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
This girl is more easily done than said...
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
