He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
A+ Viking dick
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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