she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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