like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
