Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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