i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
