I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
