Whod you bang
She's JV to your varsity
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
