nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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