I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Randomize
