David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
