How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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