apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
