I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
