I can tuck mytits in my pants
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
