I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
This beer is not sobering me up at all
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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