Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
