Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
love makes seman taste better
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
