Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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