Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
