i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
