she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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