I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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