You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
