Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
