What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize