I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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