plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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