Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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