Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
