I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
