Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
