At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
