my mouth tastes like poor choices
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
