Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
