Who wears a wallet chain?!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
