i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We got so high we made milksteak
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize