he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
