I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
