Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
