Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize