Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
