i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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