Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
