I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
