the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
