You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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