in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
