he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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