I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
