Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
