Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize